


Regrets of man

by Ja_Levi



Series: It continues [1]
Category: Marvel Cinematic Universe
Genre: Implied/Referenced Incest, M/M, One-Sided Attraction, One-Sided Relationship, Pining, Unrequited Love
Language: English
Status: Completed
Published: 2020-08-12
Updated: 2020-08-12
Packaged: 2021-03-06 04:41:21
Rating: General Audiences
Warnings: Creator Chose Not To Use Archive Warnings
Chapters: 1
Words: 641
Publisher: archiveofourown.org
Story URL: https://archiveofourown.org/works/25867588
Author URL: https://archiveofourown.org/users/Ja_Levi/pseuds/Ja_Levi
Summary: Loki is a mortal with regrets
Relationships: Loki/Thor (Marvel)
Series: It continues [1]
Series URL: https://archiveofourown.org/series/1877068
Kudos: 21





	Regrets of man

**Author's Note:**

> It Continues is a series of one shots that are not connected. All the one shots have in common is the general theme of something going on as if the one shot has no affect on the something.
> 
> Occasionally, some one shots will be connected.

Loki is usually never one to drabble in petty human addictions, seeing them as pointless and for those below him. Yet ever since he was cast onto Earth as punishment for crimes against the throne, cursed into being a mortal until he either proves himself worthy or dies, well...who could blame him for seeking a high?

The boy become invisible, unnoticeable and unrecognizable. He was a few decades away from manhood, and now he's seen as just a teenager, a child that is rough around the edges. Gods, he wants to escape from this hell hole of a city.

As the young male tags a drag of a loosely rolled blunt, tears spike in his eyes. Loki is currently outside, sitting cross legged on the dry sand of a beach. He looks up into the night sky, stars flirting next to the clouds as the moon dances the tango with a softly thrashing waves.

In a weirdly twisted way, Loki finds the sea calming. It's swaying and it's cold. It's clear and it's deep. It could kill him if it wanted to, yet it stays at bay, letting him keep his life for another day. For a day that'll feel the same as the last. For a day that'll drag on, and for a night that'll end too soon.

It's pathetic to say that Loki feels almost at peace as he blows out blue smoke into the salty air, the whisps of vapour licking at his lips almost hungrily. The scent from the smoke makes Loki's eyes itch and he rubs his eyes with his left sleeve, no doubt making them red. Tears begin to fall down his cheeks and he takes a deep breath.

Loki feels lonely as he pulls his hand away from his face and he shudders as a passing breeze washes over him. "Shit," he curses before he snorts. He doesn't deserve to feel lonely. Not after he's murdered people, people with families, people with futures. People with pasts and names, and purposes in life that they didn't get to fulfil.

And he robbed those people of being able to make a difference. He robbed them of legacy, and he robbed the future of grandparents, of lovers, of people who could've changed the world. Loki grunts, moving his blunt to his neck and he presses it against his skin, stubbing it out before he pockets the dead butt, to save it for a later blunt.

Recycling is something that Loki has picked up on since he was banished, and it makes him feel good, to save the planet of the people he once wanted to rule. Well, that was never really the case, was it?

A frown grows onto Loki's face. "I never wanted a crown. I just wanted respect. I wanted approval. I wanted love," he whispers into the darkness as his cheeks shine with slipping tears. "I wanted his love. I wanted...him."

Loki doesn't allow himself to think about who 'he' is. He knows full well who 'he' is, but he knows there's no point in daydreaming of what is well without of his reach. Breathing in, Loki lays down on the sand.

This is all he'll ever have. Memories of what was so close it was brushing against his finger tips, and about seventy years left of living. He knows he'll never be worthy enough to become a god again, so he slumps his shoulders to show that he's given up.

And the world continues with him in it, yet he's barely there. He's a ghost, floating between limbo. And he's stuck. Norns, does he need someone to pull him free from his suffering. Until then, he wears his shackles of shame and regret. The shackles are heavy they keep him grounded.

They keep him held down as the world still spins.


End file.
